Addressing your wedding invitations is kind of a big deal. And although there are about a million super fun ways to address your envelopes for your wedding invites and more fonts and envelope choices than I can count, there are some rules of etiquette that simply cannot be broken when it comes to HOW the titles are worded.Read More
"Who should we feed?"
We answer this question a lot and more often than not, couples just aren't sure who to include in their headcount. Short answer: any vendor who is on site for the duration of the wedding should be fed a hot meal. That means you feed:
- the wedding planner and their team,
- the photographer and their assistants,
- the DJ or the band,
- the videographer,
- the people working the photo booth,
- is hair/makeup staying to keep you looking fresh? is there live entertainment like dancers or cigar rollers? a fabulous henna artist painting hands and feet all night? anyone staying for the duration of your wedding should be on the list for meals.
Oftentimes I hear brides and grooms telling me all the reasons they can't afford a wedding planner and I just want to BEG them to reconsider that stance for sooooooo many reasons. You can't afford NOT to have a competent wedding planner on the ground handling all the details you've worked so long and so hard to put together. Here are just a few reasons why you should think twice before skipping a planner. I'm likely going to repeat myself a few times here, but trust me, I speak the truth!
I'm not going to touch on Destination Weddings in this post because we've got one specifically dedicated to that in the works so just stay tuned!
1. Peace of mind!
This is the biggest and the most important reason you should have a wedding planner that is both competent (and I stress that word) and professional (another word that deserves much emphasis) handling all the details of your big day. A real true event planner will have a whole team with her (or him!) so that no detail goes unnoticed.
Oh, what's that? Your auntie used to work at a flower shop in college back in '87 and she's going to do all the planning AND the flowers? Oh, your mom's cousin's best friend's step-brother's nephew's girlfriend does planning on the side? First of all, no. Second, do you really want your loved ones or some random person "working" your wedding instead of enjoying it? Don't you want to spend that wonderful day WITH your friends and family versus ordering everyone around and making sure people have done their "jobs" as well as making sure the vendors are on point? Wouldn't it be brilliant to have someone there to make sure all that happens while you get to be the Bride and not the Planner?
Furthermore, that person is more than likely not a professional wedding planner. Without the experience of a seasoned planning professional, when the average person gets hit with a high-stress, highly unpredictable day things can go very wrong. I'm not trying to scare you, but if things get hairy, can your mom/sister/cousin/aunt/friend handle the stress? And do you even want to expose her to that? Don't put the people you love to work at your wedding. The margin for error, stress and drama is exceptionally high when you do that!
Event & Wedding Planner jobs have landed on the top 5 lists of most stressful jobs for the last 5+ years. Simply put, we're used to this shit!
2. You will get access to our connections!
We've spent years carefully curating a list of vendors* we trust and highly recommend. We've built relationships with people and we know how they operate, we know that they are true professionals and we can attest to their abilities to deliver on their promises. We know exactly who to match you up with to fit your design and budget. We know who to guide you toward and who to steer you away from.
And even aside from discounts, we can open doors to vendors that may only work with clients that have wedding planners. That's right, there are many venues and vendors that will only work with people that have a planner. Without one of us, you'd likely never even know about them!
*PLEASE know that our Preferred Vendor list is not built on kickbacks, charging vendors commissions or referral fees. We find kickbacks to be not only dishonest, but wholly unethical and would never suggest a vendor based on them paying us to do so.
3. We can help you SAVE money!
Yes, you heard me right. We can save you money by helping you spend it smarter and negotiating better terms with your vendors. And sometimes our Preferred Vendors will offer discounted rates or throw in a little something extra for Scarlet brides. I'm not saying we will definitely be able to get you discounts and freebies with every single vendor, but sometimes it will happen. We work very closely with our preferred list for many reasons and occasionally they'll toss in a little lagniappe (a little something extra) for our clients. Let me reiterate that, we cannot guarantee discounts from everyone, but sometimes they will be offered. Do not go into a relationship with a planner simply because you think she's going to get you bajillions of discounts and get you a free wedding because you will be sorely disappointed, but certain vendors are able to extend discounts and upgrades for the clients of a planner they love.
We can also help you spend your money smarter by showing you where you can source things for less, talking you OUT of wasting $250 on a custom aisle runner you will probably trip on, and introducing you to the wonderful world of new talent! Love a high-end designer's flowers but can't afford it? We can introduce you to new talent that is very similar to their design aesthetic for a fraction of the cost. Bringing me right back to point #2 again, we know people!
Did you know it takes roughly 250-300 hours to plan a wedding for 125 people? Do you really have that much time on your hands? We do!
5. We can handle the drama!
If we know beforehand that Aunt Carol and Uncle Victor don't get along we can make sure they don't have any run-ins during the wedding. We can help you with the seating chart and make sure to seat them far, far away from each other at the reception (and we even keep an eye for trouble!) instead of them accidentally ending up at the same table and someone getting stabbed. This has legit happened. Buy me a margarita and I might just tell you that story!
6. We are your new, super organized, wedding loving best friends!
In addition to all the normal stuff like putting your timeline together and creating floorplans, we are one of the only people you know who will never get sick of your wedding! We spend hours gathering all your important personal belongings, helping you make your seating chart, putting together and delivering your Welcome Bags, helping keep you calm when your future sister-in-law gets a mad classy, monstrous new skull & crossbones tattoo right across her throat 2 days before your super traditional cathedral wedding (airbrushing isn't that expensive and works really well!), performing amateur relationship counseling when the groom insists on wearing his ratty old beat up Chucks with his custom Vera Wang tux (just let it slide!), coming with you to fittings, helping you pick out just the right shoes and earrings and then helping you again when you change your mind, keeping you hydrated & fed the day of the wedding, and answering every call and text you send our way. We keep track of payments for your vendors, help the best man and the MOH write their speeches if they need us, hand out all the tips, and we keep your event running seamlessly, handling whatever gets thrown our way.
And, honestly, the only thing we want at the end of the night is for you to hug us and tell us that you love us before you head off into Happily Ever After. That's the stuff we live for. Make your planner feel like she's loved and we will move mountains for you. Always.
7. We have brilliant ideas!
What? It's true Sure, you've seen all kinds of cool stuff on Pinterest but so have 100 million other Pinners. Most wedding planners & event designers strive to create unique events customized to the exact taste & budget of each client. And that means we get to know you as a couple and then come up with truly unique ideas for just y'all. We don't just copy our other weddings or another designer's work.
Or maybe you want to do something completely wild? We have crazy out of the box ideas (and the right connections!) to take your event to the next level! Want to hear more? Schedule your complimentary consultation with a Scarlet Wedding Planner today!
I know some of y'all are still worried that you cant afford a planner, but here's one last piece of advice, the ages old saying: "You'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar" is one that will never go out of style. There is not one client that's been genuinely being kind and honest about their needs that has walked away without us finding a way to help them.
One of my absolute favorite past clients was on a tight budget and totally overwhelmed with planning, but she reminded me so much of my little sister, and on top of it she was absolutely delightful and gave me all the warm fuzzies when we talked for the first time that I knew I had to work with her and she's become one of my dearest friends (love you, Em!). So don't let your idea of what you can and can't afford stand in your way of at least talking to a wedding planner!
Happy planning, my loves!
enjoy a few photos of the SPD crew in action!
OK, so this might come off as a tad ranty, but hear me out! I'm soooooo tired of looking at wedding photos and all I see are guests hidden behind their damn cellphones. Where is the bride walking down the aisle with her father? Hidden behind Auntie Carol's gigantic friggin' iPad, 17 cellphones, Uncle Bob squatting in the aisle because he has a DSLR and now fancies himself a photographer, and even a couple of disposable cameras. Seriously? Where did you even get that fossil?
Y'all, stop! For the love of all things sacred and sugar-glazed, please stop it! Tell me this has not become the norm.
Oh, but it has! Everyone thinks they are entitled to get that special shot. But let me clarify this for you, you're not entitled to any such thing. You were invited by the happy couple to take part in witnessing and celebrating their union and the only thing you're entitled to is that, so feel free to just enjoy the moment and make memories. I'm not telling you not to take any photos...oh, wait, that's exactly what I'm telling you. PUT THE PHONE/CAMERA/IPAD (really? you carry an iPad around with you in real life situations?) DOWN AND ENJOY THE MOMENT. At least wait until after the ceremony to break out the devices again.
If the happy couple hasn't already decided to make their wedding unplugged, let me break down why you, my dear guests, should just go ahead and turn off your devices for a hot second.
Now let's have a chat about "Uncle Bob"
Uncle Bob is the cousin/uncle/father/friend with the "fancy" camera and the eye for ruining a pros shot. (That's what we folks in the wedding biz call "that guy".) Believe it or not, the happy couple actually hired a professional to take their wedding photos. Can you imagine the nerve?! They had the gall to spend thousands of dollars on a professional photographer and, in some cases a videographer, to capture images of the most important day of their lives. And you, my overly eager - ahem, obnoxious - friend, are in their way!
Let me repeat myself. You are in their way. When you hold up your camera while they are having their first dance, everyone who looks at the wedding photos will see that bright little light in your hand or (worse) you blocking the photographer. When you lean into the aisle when they are exchanging vows, having their first kiss, entering the church, you are blocking the photographer. And more often than not, churches have very specific rules when it comes to where the photographer can be. The photographer will painstakingly research the best place for them to set up their cameras and then most of the time they cannot leave that location for the duration of the ceremony. But if you decide to hop into the aisle, you will be the only thing people will focus on when they see the photos. And I hate to break it to you, but the only images the couple will really and truly care about come from the photographer they hired. Your photos, while appreciated, are not the ones they are most looking forward to. Sorry.
Now, about the flash.
And, no, I don't mean a super fun flash mob! The photos are trashed when you use the flash. That flash and the awful red dot that accompanies it can be seen like a beacon fire on a mountaintop! Yes, that's how it looks. That cannot be edited out. Once the flash goes off, the photo is ruined.
Bruh, we need to talk about social media etiquette.
I can't even count how many times we've seen overly excited bridesmaids or random guests/family members post a photo of the bride in her gown on Facebook, Snapchat or Instagram before the ceremony. I actually had a bride tell her wedding party that if they posted a pic of her online before the ceremony that she would smash their phone with a hammer! I kid you not, she pulled out an actual hammer. Don't even ask me where she found a hammer at the beach...
But seriously, y'all, it's not OK to post photos of the bride or groom on the internet before the ceremony or First Look. We get it, you're super excited about your bestie getting hitched, and OMG she really does look totes fabs, but just slow down, tiger, this isn't your moment to share. We've had many grooms see their brides beforehand and it's really heartbreaking for that special moment to be ruined. Please just don't do it.
And now what you've been waiting for...the photobombers in action! Enjoy the awfulness.
I have a feeling this blog is going to ruffle a few feathers but I'm ok with that. This has been on my mind for quite some time and I feel like I need to just go ahead and get it out in the open. I'll likely lose a few friends and a few likes on our Facebook page, but, again, I'm ok with that.
I've been working with this one wedding vendor for years and years and absolutely adored working with them. I recently inquired about a date for one of my couples and they were totally available...until they found out I had a same-sex couple. Then all of a sudden the convo got super awkward and they had to "check their schedule" and would have to get back to me. Ultimately they passed on the wedding without any real explanation.
Now, I'm not here to point any elbows or start any drama, but I do feel like I need to get something out there.
We don't do "gay" weddings. There, I said it. Now hold up a second, before you go and get all bajiggity about it, you should also know that we don't do "straight" weddings, "white" weddings, "black" weddings, "Chinese" weddings, "Jewish" weddings or any other wedding you're tempted to label.
You know what we do?
We do weddings. Period.
We do big weddings. We do small weddings. We do medium sized weddings. We do weddings with two grooms. We do weddings with a bride & a groom and weddings with two brides, too. We do pop up weddings and elopements. We do incredible, authentic, unique, breathtaking, heartfelt, swoon-worthy weddings. We do weddings so filled with love and heartfelt joy that our entire team straight up Ugly Cries as the couple exchanges their handwritten vows. We do super unique, weird, quirky weddings. We do weddings steeped in tradition. We do Muslim nikkahs. We do fusion weddings combining time honored traditions with new traditions that our couple has created. We do weddings where the clients want to hang cakes from the ceiling with circus performers swinging around it. We do weddings with food trucks and ultra luxe weddings with seven course meals presented by white gloved servers in tuxedos. We do weddings where instead of exchanging rings, they both get tattoos. We do weddings where the bride is escorted down the aisle by her children and they have a "family ceremony" where they all pledge to love one another and to go forth as more than just a husband and a wife, they go forth as a family. We do weddings where it's just the couple, their officiant, me and a killer photographer on a cliff overlooking the sea. We do weddings where the couple has their best friend in the entire world get ordained so he can legally marry them using a ceremony script the three of them wrote together. (That wedding hit us right in the feels.)
I guess my point is, yes, of course we do same-sex weddings (and straight ones and black ones and white ones and all the other ones too)! And for us it's really about everything but the orientation of our couples, cuz let's be honest, that's none of our damn business anyway. #amiright?!
We don't care how you love, the only thing we care about is that you love.
We love love! We love it in all its many forms. We love helping our couples celebrate their love for one another more than anything and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank the good Lord for allowing me to do what I love.
And speaking of Him, I believe with all my heart that the greatest commandment we were ever given was to love one another (Matthew 22:36-40) and that's exactly what I intend to do. I'm confident that when I'm called to account for my life in front of my Creator, all He's really going to care about is that I did my best to love folks without judgement and helped them celebrate their love for one another.
Now how about we all enjoy some photos of a few weddings that just make us happy, happy, happy?! You can't tell me that seeing people this happy makes you do anything but smile!